Saturday, August 18, 2018

20 Questions: Part 1

One: Who am I?

As I'm forcing myself to find reasons to get up in the morning, I am looking for the things in my environment that have spoken to me in the past. I'm trying to remember what about them said something, and what it was I heard. I'm trying to remember why I stopped listening. Today, it was my backgrounds.

I don't think about them much, I'm not sure any of us really do. They are just the things that keep my screens from being painful to look at (no really). But, some of them are really beautiful pieces of art that express parts of me that I never talk about. In fact, I don't think about them if I can help it.

I'm going to share them here, and I hope that if the artist recognizes their work, they will let me know so I can fully express my appreciation. Until then, I have done my best to make sure they get credit.

I found these two images accidentally while following one of the many rabbit holes I go down in any given day. Who knows what I was thinking about at the time or if it was even related to why I saved these two over any others, but here we are.

This is what I do remember:

On my private Tablet and Computer. Please note the signature in the lower right hand corner.
The little person with the kitten is the only thing I have ever wanted for myself in this life. I have called it many names over the years, but it started long before I knew what a lifetime could be.

Before I got sick, I guess I was known for it. All the broken and lost knew me by name.
All I ever wanted was to hold up those that I love most. Up as far as I could get so they could see how much farther they could go. There is no high like seeing the success of those you have helped. Over the years, I have seen this in others and felt pain because... how could I ever work magic like that?

This image reminds me every time I look at it that “Even the smallest person can change the course of the future” ~Gandalf "Fellowship of the Ring" JRR Tolkein

On my personal phone. Please note the web address in the lower left hand corner.
The little boy in the attic is who I think I can be. You see, I was raised on a steady dose of reading and self reliance. The combination has resulted in an adult who wants to know all the things just to know them, even if I never have a use for the information (although, the older I get the more I find that information is always useful). I refer to this as #RandomShitStuckInMyBrain. But I'm no longer content to just read the stories. I need to experience it with all my being. 

I have had this image as the background of my phone for years now. I'm only just taking action on it.

Well...kinda...

I did leave everything I knew and loved to see if I could hold up the world that one time


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