Tuesday, February 5, 2013

Fearless

When I knew you, it was like you had no fear. The things we did together! Even to this day I can't think of some of them without blushing. But when I heard from you, it sounds like you aren't that way anymore. It sounds like you are scared to do anything that isn't very well thought out and very well planned.

It made me wonder, was it really you that was fearless, or did you only seem fearless because so much in life terrified me... or were you fearless because of me.

You see, my age hasn't been tempering me. In fact with each passing year I feel like I get more daring and more willing to push against the things that hold me back... even if I'm more careful about how and when I do that.

I know now that more than anything else my soul craves that in another. The strength that lets someone push themselves way beyond what they ever dreamed they could do. Mostly because I am that way myself and if my mate isn't that way also, I'm always dragging them or leaving them behind. Do you have any idea how few people there are in the World that can do this for themselves? 

Which made me wonder something else. If I could have you back, would we be any good for each other anymore or would I just be dragging you along because I can't bare to let you go?

This is one of those days when I feel the piece of my soul I gave to you like a deep painful bruise. I find myself rubbing at it thinking I can making it feel better or go away, but I can't. It is yours and always will be, but today I wish that weren't the case. Today I wish I could find the person I knew so long ago that was so fearless. You were my hero. Maybe you would know how to help this pain go away.

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