In the last few days I have asked two people in my life that I *never* thought I would ask to leave, to do just that. They are wonderful people who I care about so deeply that it scares me. They didn't do anything wrong. They aren't out to hurt me. But for my own health and well being I have asked them to leave... or, more accurately, I have told them that I am.
Why do this? Why put myself through the pain of losing two wonderful people if I don't have to? If they aren't saying they don't want me around?
The fact is, to spite not meaning to hurt me, having them in my life was causing me harm. Not having them in my life will be a temporary pain. The pain from the damage that would have been cause if I had not stepped away would have lasted a life time.
Or at least, this is what I will tell myself as I cry myself to sleep tonight