Some part of me has known for a long time that I was holding back. I was trying to look and be a certain way so that I didn't offend one particular person in my life. With that person gone, it's like the flood gates have opened again! I find myself sharing the funny and stupid things that make me think about everything and nothing. I'm asking the questions that I didn't feel safe asking because "they" were watching. I'm flirting and teasing with reckless abandon. I'm branching out again and finding new people to draw closer to me, one moment at a time.
The thing is, I'm not really sure... completely sure anyway... why I was holding back to begin with. I don't think that this person was offended by me, but then, I wasn't really being me was I.
So many of the people in my life don't get to see this side of me because of my fear of what they will think. It's only with the people who have never met me, that I feel I can be this open and honest with. They get to know me in ways that even the love of my life never has and never will.