Wednesday, February 8, 2012

Mother

It's too late for you. You don't get to be my mother now. I don't need you any more, so I'm not willing to let you hurt me any more just so I have some place to live and food to eat.

When I needed you was when I was a small child and you were letting your father rape me.
And later when I took on the job of bringing him to justice on behalf of the two generations of lives he destroyed. 

When I needed you was when you kicked my father out of the house and my life because of your fears.
And later when I needed the courage to be with him before he died.

When I needed you was when I was raising your daughter.
And later when I realized how badly I failed.

When I needed you was when you used me as the adult.
And later when I tried to get what you stole back.

You were never there though.

I've listened to all of your excuses, even believed a few. Not any more.

I am tired of watching you ruin one life after another because you don't have the courage to grow up, to over come the pain that has been caused to you and change. So, you let it spread like a cancer to the people too innocent to defend themselves against you. But not me, not any more.

I will be strong. I will learn how to live my life differently and some day, when those that you have hurt so much go looking for answers to why, I will be here to explain to them. I will be your "Speaker" and teach them to see you as the human I never knew.

In that way, maybe, I can save both your soul, and my own.

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