Thursday, December 15, 2011


I hate that I have such a knack for impossible relationships. I'm in Love with a man who's married, doesn't know I exist (ok, he knows I exist, just not that way and that's a good thing), and wouldn't get involved with me even if the first two things weren't true (you'll just have to take my word that I know this is a fact)!
Every time he emails me, or contacts me, I can't think straight. I have to will myself to back away from him and stay... not cold... distant. I'm terrified of messing up his happy home by in some way letting him know how I feel.
And yet I can't bring myself to just cut off contact. I know how much it hurts to have someone you think of as a friend do that (I believe they do think of me as a friend) and I'm just not willing to do that to someone else.
Why do I suck *so* much!?

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