Tuesday, March 17, 2009

New Tasks

I was given some new tasks today and I'm trying really hard not to go to bad places in my head about them. They were given to me with love and compassion and with my best welfare at heart. And per my usual I am thinking "Is this how you see me? A whining, lazy, self absorbed, friendless being?"


But of course this is where I'm going with it in my head. Mostly because no one could ever just honestly be looking out for me, they always are just trying to get me to be what they think I should be, or better yet, make me go away.

But why bother to tell me things at all then. Why not just tell me to go away. He knows I would. The reason is he doesn't want me to go away, and he isn't trying to make me something I'm not, he's trying to help me be my best in the only ways he knows how.

And he isn't wrong about what he had to say, which is part of why I'm so pissy about it. I'm going to have to write about this some more...get some of it out of my head.

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