Tuesday, March 17, 2009

Don't Wan'a

So I have to go to the lean cuisine place today to meet with their doctor so they can tell me how I'm fit or not for this program...I feel like this is a complete waste of my time and I'm trying to think of ways I can at least enjoy the day. It is sunny and warm out, so I'm hoping that with the radio blasting and the roof open I'll be in a better mood by the time I reach them. If not, I have a wonderful mask.

I hate that the more energy I have, the bigger my mood swings are, and the worse my PTSD and depression get. Then I have to fight them and my ED all at once. If I'm not eating, I have no energy and I don't have to fight any of it.


I also was able to figure out why it is that I want to go see "Last House on the Left" even though I was so triggered by the unexpected rape in the other movie (I'm still CONVINCED that if I had known it was coming I would have been ok). Most of "Last House" is going to be about her family standing up for her, saying they believed her and they would do anything to protect her and make sure it never EVER happens again. It would be nice to see that, even if it is only in a movie.

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