So its come down to the point where I can't take care of myself the way I want to or need to. My eating disorder is out of control (if you could say it was ever in control) and I have back slid far and hard. The funny thing is that hasn't been the hardest part for me. Nor has the decision to join a rehab facility. The hardest part has been everyone else.
Most of the people (okay lets be honest, all of the people) in my life don't understand what an eating disorder is. They don't know why I have it, why I can't just stop having it, or take something for it; or failing those how to help me to get over it. Even the few people I know who also have an eating disorder aren't really able to be supportive because of the nature of the disease.
And I can't explain it to them.