Monday, November 3, 2008

Dumb

I must be too dumb to live. I have let my eating disorder get the best of me again, and I really just don't care. I don't care if I starve to death. I don't care if bones are sticking out and I'm passing out every time I stand up. All I care about is not hurting, and when I'm not eating, I don't hurt.

People tell me, "just eat" well if it was that easy I wouldn't have the eating disorder now would I?!

I hate how I look. I hate the way I feel. I hate that none of the things I'm doing to myself make sense, even to me. I hate that the things that are just normal for everyone else are impossibly stressful for me (like working, and walking my dog).

What's wrong with me?!

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